Post by darkstar on Oct 7, 2005 20:39:07 GMT
Jim Morrison Alive and Well and Living In Woking
The Spoof! UK
October 8 2005
Jim Morrison, lead singer with cult 60s band ‘The Doors’ has been
found alive, well and living in the English town of Woking.
The American singer was believed to have died on 3 July 1971 of a drugs
overdose whilst in the bath of his Paris apartment. However it has
been revealed that Morrison was spotted buying sausages at the
Woking branch of Safeways early on Thursday morning with his
girlfriend Pamela Courson, who herself was also presumed dead until
now.
The pair were confronted at the deli counter by avid fan David
McDavids who had always refused to believe the circumstances
surrounding Morrison’s mysterious demise thirty-four years ago:
“I knew it was Jim,” said an excited McDavids, “I mean he’s cut his
hair and he wasn’t wearing leather trousers but I just knew. It was
when he started whistling Riders on the Storm over by the cheese
counter that I finally began to realise who he was.”
Jim and Pam beat a hasty retreat to their Vauxhall Vectra in the car
park but by then it was too late. A crowd of balding old hippies in
Grateful Dead t-shirts and a group of angst-ridden teenagers had
already gathered next to the pasta sauces in aisle four to gawp at
the one-time ‘Lizard King’.
“We couldn’t quite believe it was him,” said George McGeorge, a self-
confessed Doors aficionado, “but after David confronted him he
shouted out ‘this is the end’ before abandoning his trolley and
running for the exit with Pam.”
By this time the press had been alerted and were able to follow the
Morrisons back to their home – Hyacinth House - in Willow Tree
Terrace, Woking. After initially refusing to emerge Jim Morrison
eventually broke on through to the other side of his front door to
give the following statement to the waiting throng of reporters:
“I did not die in 1971. The coffin that was buried in Pere LaChaise
cemetery, and at which so many pilgrims came to pay their respects,
was filled with shoes, shampoo bottles and an old shop mannequin.
Pamela and I spent four years waiting for the sun in Morocco before
moving to England were I worked as a milkman here in Woking before
retiring two years ago. People are strange and what I did was not
ordinary but I hope my fans will forgive me.”
With that Morrison refused to answer any further questions and
retreated inside…
The story as represented above is written as a satire or parody. It
is fictitious.
www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i9469
The Spoof! UK
October 8 2005
Jim Morrison, lead singer with cult 60s band ‘The Doors’ has been
found alive, well and living in the English town of Woking.
The American singer was believed to have died on 3 July 1971 of a drugs
overdose whilst in the bath of his Paris apartment. However it has
been revealed that Morrison was spotted buying sausages at the
Woking branch of Safeways early on Thursday morning with his
girlfriend Pamela Courson, who herself was also presumed dead until
now.
The pair were confronted at the deli counter by avid fan David
McDavids who had always refused to believe the circumstances
surrounding Morrison’s mysterious demise thirty-four years ago:
“I knew it was Jim,” said an excited McDavids, “I mean he’s cut his
hair and he wasn’t wearing leather trousers but I just knew. It was
when he started whistling Riders on the Storm over by the cheese
counter that I finally began to realise who he was.”
Jim and Pam beat a hasty retreat to their Vauxhall Vectra in the car
park but by then it was too late. A crowd of balding old hippies in
Grateful Dead t-shirts and a group of angst-ridden teenagers had
already gathered next to the pasta sauces in aisle four to gawp at
the one-time ‘Lizard King’.
“We couldn’t quite believe it was him,” said George McGeorge, a self-
confessed Doors aficionado, “but after David confronted him he
shouted out ‘this is the end’ before abandoning his trolley and
running for the exit with Pam.”
By this time the press had been alerted and were able to follow the
Morrisons back to their home – Hyacinth House - in Willow Tree
Terrace, Woking. After initially refusing to emerge Jim Morrison
eventually broke on through to the other side of his front door to
give the following statement to the waiting throng of reporters:
“I did not die in 1971. The coffin that was buried in Pere LaChaise
cemetery, and at which so many pilgrims came to pay their respects,
was filled with shoes, shampoo bottles and an old shop mannequin.
Pamela and I spent four years waiting for the sun in Morocco before
moving to England were I worked as a milkman here in Woking before
retiring two years ago. People are strange and what I did was not
ordinary but I hope my fans will forgive me.”
With that Morrison refused to answer any further questions and
retreated inside…
The story as represented above is written as a satire or parody. It
is fictitious.
www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i9469