AS I LOOK BACK

[TheWallsScreamedPoetry]

AS I LOOK BACK


As I look back
over my life
I am struck by post
cards
Ruined Snap shots

faded posters
Of a time, I can't recall

I am a Scot, or so
I'm told. Really
the heir of Mystery
Christians

Snake in the Glen

The child of a
Military family...

I rebelled against church
after phases of
fervor

I curried favor in school
& attack'd the teachers

I was given a
desk in the corner

I was a fool
&
The smartest kid
in class

Walks in D.C. in
Negro streets. The library
& book stores. Orange
brick in warm sun.
The books & poets magic

Then sex gives greater stimulation
Than you've ever known &
all peace & books lose their
charm & you are thrown
back on the eye of vision

History of Rock
coinciding w/ my
adolescence

Came to LA to
Film School

Venice Summer

Drug Visions

Roof top songs

early struggles &
humiliations

Thanks to the girls
who fed me.

Making Records

Elvis had sex­wise
mature voice at 19.

Mine still retains the
nasal whine of a
repressed adolescent
minor squeaks & furies
An interesting singer
at best ­ a scream
or a sick croon. Nothing
in­between.


ROAD DAYS


fear of Plane death

And night was what Night
should be
A girl, a bottle, & blessed sleep

I have ploughed
My seed thru the heart
of the nation.
Injected a germ in the psychic blood vein.

Now I embrace the poetry
of business & become ­ for
a time ­ a "Prince of Industry"

A natural leader, a poet,
a Shaman, w/ the
soul of a clown.

What am I doing
in the Bull Ring
Arena
Every public figure
running for Leader

Spectators at the Tomb
­riot watchers

Fear of Eyes
Assassination

Being drunk is a good disguise.

I drink so I
can talk to assholes.
This includes me.

The horror of business

The Problem of Money
guilt
do I deserve it?

The Meeting
Rid of Managers & agents

After 4 yrs. I'm left w/ a
mind like a fuzzy hammer

regret for wasted nights
& wasted years
I pissed it all away
American Music

End w/ fond good­bye
& plans for future
­Not an actor
Writer­filmmaker

Which of my cellves
will be remember'd

Good­bye America
I loved you

Money from home
good luck
stay out of trouble



Perhaps the saddest and most profound thing the guy ever wrote.....makes me sad to read it anyway!

[mywildlove4371]

did Jim write this>?? I had never read it.. although it seems i have read parts of it before....I like it .

[TheWallsScreamedPoetry]

'As I look back' is the last poem in Wilderness....

[ensenada]

yeh i think i read bits of this in fragments. its a like a brief run down of his life. its great to get an actual insight into his feelings and what he got up to i.e. singning on roof tops.
End w/ fond good­bye
& plans for future
­Not an actor
Writer­filmmaker
did he not want to go into acting and filmmaking? it is sad. its also his good bye to america, which he loved so much, but sort of turned against him in away and let him down.
it even gives us an insight into why he drank so much..to talk to assholes, including himself.
and avery humble look at his singing as compared to elvis.
I really like this poem. i havnt got wilderness, but i willget it sometime...

[jym]

ya gotta read it to get it!

[moses]

This is a great piece. I especially like the words: "And night was what Night
should be
A girl, a bottle, & blessed sleep" though much of the work strikes me as a man growing up and changing his values somewhat.

Being drunk really is a good disguise.

[ptlwp]

Very poingnant look through the rear view mirror. I liked it a lot......I can feel the pain.

[TheWallsScreamedPoetry]

Someone (Stuart I think) read this at the Tribute In Motion which was cool..........
A great poem........